This is my official lobbying effort to our most high king, Barack Obama, to be the Quantum Mechanics Czar!
You see, there are over 20 official Czars in king BO's control, ranging from Car Czar to Urban Czar to (and I'm not kidding), "Non-Proliferation" Czar, whatever that is... It is clear to me that the nation simply cannot survive without a Quantum Mechanics Czar, and I believe I am supremely qualified to be his most high's choice.
Why, you ask, do I believe I would be the perfect choice? Simply because it is one of the few subjects that I know absolutely NOTHING about! It is obvious that this is the main qualification to be the "Czar" of an issue. In addition, I do not have the time in my life to devote to learning more about Quantum Mechanics or deal with the obviously pressing issues in the field. Again, this appears to be a main qualification of the job.
Think about it. I could get a nice, six figure salary, take credit for fixing all the pertinent "Quantum Mechanics issues", and golf/run/play tennis every day. What could be better than that? Sure, I'd have to agree with everything King BO says and does, but hey, it's not going to be too long before we all have to do that anyway, or else suffer the fate of becoming an "un-person," right?
So, King BO, please make me your next Quantum Mechanics Czar. Your kingdom needs me!
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